there is no junior holy spirit

Hey Leaders!

We are so excited about our Hope @ Home gatherings and the way God is moving in our community! We want to take a moment to talk about some of the most important people in the room — our kids! Family is such a big part of our hearts at HopeUC.

There is no “junior Holy Spirit!”

Children have the same Holy Spirit in them that we as adults have. The same power that raised Jesus lives in us - including our children (Romans 8:11). One of our core values is “Worship is Our Honor” and Psalm 150:6 says that everyone that has breath (which includes kids) should praise the Lord!

We want to cultivate the growth of children just as much as we do ourselves, which is why we have two of our monthly services around family!

We all know that sometimes including children in times of worship, discussion, and prayer can feel a little unpredictable. :)  But here’s the thing: we want them here. We need them here. It’s our honor to lead them and join them in worship! And we believe that they are just as much a part of what God is doing as we are!

So when we gather for H@H with families with children, remember these important points.

In our home groups, there are people we know very well and do not know so well - we need to treat everyone the same, with respect and care.

1. Safety is our top priority with children, so we have some non-negotiables:
   • No one alone with kids.
     • Always 2 adults with them if in another room/area. 
     • Parents are ultimately responsible for their kids and should be aware of what they are doing. 
   • Create a safe space and engaging atmosphere
     • Prepare and communicate what rooms are available to attenders and who should be in them
     • Prepare the rooms to be baby proof and kid safe - if outdoor areas will be accessed, also prepare the area to be safe (be careful with holes in the ground, sharp equipment, animals, etc.)
   • Be aware of situations and activities. 
     • Personal safety is most important - parents should be present and aware of outdoor activities
2. Our desire is for parents to have children with them during worship, discussion, communion, and prayer time, to experience the power of God and to nurture their heart in Christ.
   • We are a family of families and know that with kids, things do not always go according to plan, so be flexible, caring, graceful, and helpful for families with kids, especially knowing that life can be stressful for parents! 
   • Communicating clear expectations upfront with parents in your home group helps everyone be on the same page (house rules, flow of service, expectations, etc.)
   • Host families can prepare by having supplies, activities, toys, and spaces available for the children.

We asked a couple of group leaders with a large group of kids in their home group to share their tips and insights!

The summary below is from the video.

Jeremy & Courtney Weedman:

• They have 10 families with 31 kids (the group with the most kids!)
• What they do to prepare and equip their children
  • They clearly communicate upfront their values (it's easier to have the conversations throughout the year when clearly communicated upfront)
    • Safety - no kids in any rooms with closed doors
    • Family - behave as if there is no junior Holy Spirit (kids can worship and engage) - have kids with you - kids are engaging alongside their parents
    • Host Home - they don't break windows, get knives out of kitchen, or jump on furniture. help clean up, put food away, involve kids
    • Input & Relationship with God - from top to bottom (dad, mom, men, women, kids, everyone) - kids involved in prayer for each other - kids see other kids engaging and they're encouraged to do so as well - kids can have musical instruments during worship, etc. If kids can help lead worship then that's great as well
      • They have all children involved the entire time instead of separating the children to another room or making them feel excluded
  • Three distinct phases to preparing and equipping your child 
    • 1 - Not yet trained
      • Usually toddlers and younger
      • They're not ready to be trained - parents' goals: be aware of childs' needs and the situation around you - do they need a break, fed, wiggle break (summary: awareness for child, awareness for your family, awareness for the family around you)
    • 2 - In training
      • Usually younger elementary
      • Able to: sit, be quiet when needed, be respectful with guidance (parents will be more involved in this process, redirecting as the moment dictates, planning that they can't sit the entire time, how to keep their hands busy - planning is important and very helpful)
    • 3 - Fully trained
      • Usually ages 8+
      • Able to: sit, be respectful, be quiet when needed, engage in worship/prayer/discussion - they're ready to go
    • Note - you know your child best and there are always unique circumstances but these 3 phases generally apply...
    • For leaders/hosts: Knowing these 3 phases and having grace for every child in those phases and helping parents understand those phases and how to navigate. Also having a plan to help grow through the phases.
    • It's important that we are looking for people with the Holy Spirit to engage in every age in everything we do (not for just quiet and obedience)
• Summary: Note that they're just sharing what works for them - their overall value of wanting to integrate the family, pull the kids in, not exclude any person from the family for any reason - that requires planning and encouragement. God will bless you! Get those conversations early with families about expectations - so helpful. Let's be helpful to each other - we're a family of families 

Zack & Megan Holmes:

• It's still a learning process - we're all in this together and doing our best - it's an honor to do it
• They start at 10:30 with light refreshments available and worship, then do discussion, then check-in on the families how they're doing and their month, praise reports and prayer requests, communion/announcements, then eat lunch and hang out!
• Tips:
  • Starting at 10:30 right into worship and discussion has helped the kids to know play time comes afterwards - having only one transition is helpful. It has not worked to start with toys and activities available and opening the play room since the kids will be in play mode and harder to focus and participate during worship and discussion.
  • Starting on time helps with consistency and expectations!
  • Set up environment and flow to encourage kids' involvement
  • Having all the kids in the middle of the room together during worship/discussion time (with papers/crayons, music instruments and worship)
  • Direct discussion questions to kids for them to answer but start them with ice breaker type of intro questions - call the kids by name - it's ok if they can't answer  - give them time to process and answer - they are capable!
  • You can use your own kids (or kids that are good examples) as examples to other kids and families - it can be contagious and encouraging!
  • Even young kids are capable, spirit-filled, and powerful contributors!
  • The leaders having time to process the discussion questions for about a week in advance of H@H so they can prepare how to discuss effectively with the kids 
  • Give kids jobs especially if they're getting antsy (i.e. pass out communion, picking up papers, be your helper to hold the devo book or object lesson, etc.) 
  • If families in the group are ok with it and the weather cooperates, do everything outside. For the kids, after worship and about 10 or so minutes into discussions with kids are antsy, they can go play and parents can go deeper into discussions.
  • When weather doesn't cooperate, having 'quiet' kids activities at a table nearby (especially for toddler age) is helpful for them to have an option of playing there - can have playdough, crafts, etc.
  • Let go of striving for perfection and an "ideal" vision of home group when you have young kids (it's usually not practical or realistic) - things will get messy or chaotic but that's ok - just have a growth mindset
  • Clearly communicating expectations/rules/vision to all families about boundaries and home rules (shared kindly) helps when everyone is on the same page and understands - each parent has different thoughts/experiences with kids and personalities and kid behaviors are diverse
  • They prefer to do lunch afterwards instead of breakfast to encourage extended hangout time and if kids need to nap or if people have plans they can head out easily!

Hopefully these tips will help you in your home groups with children!

God bless!